I had no idea what the upcoming year would hold. There was so much up in the air at the time. Waking up on the 24th and knowing that if I took a pregnancy test, it would be the best Christmas we've ever had. During my pregnancy I had feelings of regret for not waiting UNTIL Christmas to take the test. I regreted not finding a cutesy way to tell Cody. But in that moment, when the second line showed up....I couldn't breathe. I remember walking to the living room and feeling like I was floating. My hands were shaking, I couldn't get anything louder than a whisper out. We were pregnant. Pregnant. With Child. Bun in the oven. Pregnant.
Here we are exactly one year later. I am amazed every day with the lessons that Sophia teaches me. Because of her I try harder to forgive others. I am learning how to forgive myself. I am trusting more in God's plan for all of us. And I am enjoying life in a way I forgot that I could.
With complicated lives, comes complicated feelings. And this year there have been plenty to go around. But healing takes time, and I think I'm getting there.
So a year ago today (this is the digital test that I went out to get AFTER I had two lines on the regular tests, just because I thought digital tests were really cool) :
Today:
Here's the blog entry I wrote the day after I took my pregnancy test. For those who care.
I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas. I am writing Sophia's letter today, and I'll think about posting it tomorrow. But I'm not sure if I'm going to make it public....hmmm...we'll see!!
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