Sunday, February 7, 2010


I recently read this post (by recently I do mean, just now).

It's about having permission to, basically, not be a perfect mother. There are a lot of expectations of SAHM's, many of which we all put on ourselves. To make the bed in the morning (every morning), to have dinner ready in the evening (every evening). To do all the laundry, all the housework, all the childcare. Why? Because it's our "job".

On top of that there's the responsibility to always be teaching our child. I don't know if everyone feels this way, but I know that I always feel like Sophia should be learning. How to sit. How to crawl. What all the parts of her body are called. Baby sign. Everyone's name. {BTW I have failed, she thinks her own name is Pun'kin. She doesn't even respond to her actual name!}

How in the world am I supposed to do all of it? The days that my household responsibilities are all done I realize that I haven't played with Sophia enough. That she either spent too much time rolling around in a blanket and not being talked to, or read to, or sang to. Or that she was in her jumperoo too much, again with out the talking, reading and singing. It's my *job* to do it all.

But I've slowly started to give myself permission to not do it *all* I am slowly getting ok with the idea that the bed may not get made until 6pm (or, to the horror of some, it may not get made at all). I don't even start worrying about dinner until Sophia is in bed. I try to do one load of laundry a day (TRY people...I said TRY), the rest waits until I have an extra set of arms around (AKA Cody) to help me balance.

Once I started allowing myself to not feel SO MUCH PRESSURE, I was a little happier. I was a lot less stressed. Which means Sophia is happier. Which means Cody is happier. You see how this works? We are all a little happier.

Do I still feel pressure to do more? Yes. I think there's a guilt that comes along with being a parent, with being a mom. You can never be exactly the sort of Mom you dreamed about being. There's always some part of the dream you have to get realistic with. There's a point where you have to give yourself permission to not be perfect.

1 comment:

  1. Don't be stressed-you are probably the best mother I know! You are always doing things to make Sophia's day and life better...don't be so hard on yourself =). Glad you are less stressed and happier!


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